Baby Mama ( The Men Edition)

This is a topic I feel that all men should tune into because some of you have a woman or women with whom you share children with, and in some cases you may not be with the mother of your kids anymore but in a current relationship with someone else. In certain situations, there may be a lot of you who are finding yourselves being tossed in the middle of a battlefield between your girlfriend and your children’s mother because one doesn’t like the other, and they’re arguing constantly and going back and forth. And the reason for their hostility towards each other is because some of you are still sleeping around with the mother of your children while you’re in a current relationship with someone else (But that’s not always the case), but if you want to have a clear conscience and a heavy weight lifted off your shoulders, then it’s time to be a man and put all the nonsense behind you. Some boundaries needs to be set and you can make that happen by first being truthful. If you do not see yourself getting back together with the mother of your kids then stop sleeping with her and getting her feelings involved because she will only become more bitter that you’re with somebody else instead of her. Not only that but you’re selling her a dream because in her mind y’all are getting back together knowing that deep down inside you really don’t want to be with her. But instead you should just make everything plain and clear where things really stand between the two of you even if it’s just to coparent and nothing more, and if she cannot accept it then that would be on her and not you because you’ve done your part. When certain baby Mama’s refuse to let go, some can be very petty and childish and would try to figure out ways how to hurt and destroy a man. They figure that if they can’t have him then they would go run and take out child support on him knowing that he’s taking care of his responsibilities, but because he doesn’t want to be with you, then you try to be vindictive. Ladies you can’t make nobody want you and your attitude should be: As long as he’s taking care of his kids then that’s all that matters to me! But no that’s not your attitude because you would deny him the right to see his kids and would call the police on him for no apparent reason all because you’re mad and in your feelings. And fellas if you have children by such a woman as this then I would advise you to go through the legal system to have it set up to have visitation with your kids as often as you like because it can be done since they want to be so petty. Not all baby mother’s are like that though because there are many who are very mature and classy and can accept the situation as it is and still be cool with their children’s father without sleeping with him. And if a man is going to bring his children around his current girlfriend, then I think it would be fair for the mother and the girlfriend to meet if they are mature adults because the mother has a right to know who it is that her children are being around. If you’re no longer sleeping with the mother of your kids and she’s okay with the fact that you’ve moved on then why not make it happen? By doing it that way then everybody can be happy and getting along very well and the kids would be happy also.

Vicky Pittard

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Coping With Singleness But Counting The Blessings

Now I will admit that although I’m living a celibate lifestyle doesn’t mean that I want to be alone because I don’t. I am human and I have feelings and want to be loved and be in love just like any other woman would, but because of my relationship with the Lord and knowing what he expects from me, then that leaves me with no choice but to follow his guidance concerning my life. And though I’m not the only person in the world living this type of lifestyle, there are many of you who are trusting and waiting for God to send you that right individual into your life, but the wait isn’t always easy. There are things that God has allowed me to see during my period of waiting that was helpful and nourishment to my soul, and I want to be honest and admit that I have had many thoughts and wondered such things as: will I ever get married? or will I die and go back to the grave being a single woman? I would see other couples together and would start feeling down and on top of that, I can minister and strengthen others concerning their problems or whatever they’re facing but whenever I’m going through the fire and feeling that pain of loneliness, then there’s not one friend or family member that I could call upon to receive words of wisdom from or some encouraging words that carries power, because they themselves can’t fully understand how I feel. But that’s when God stepped in and begin letting me see some things because he wanted to show me that there are benefits with being single while I’m waiting on him to send me the person he has appointed for me, and there were things taking place all around me that he wanted me to pay close attention to. I was being awaken out of my sleep late at night on the weekends due to my neighbors arguing who were a married couple, and they were airing all of their dirty laundry for everyone to hear and this was going on just about every weekend, and during the weekdays in the mornings when I made it home from work after working all night long, another couple who use to live next door to me just couldn’t get along, and the woman was getting cursed out and called all kinds of names by her boyfriend every single morning, and he would stand on his porch yelling and didn’t care who heard him either. By listening and seeing all the different chaos and losing sleep behind it, it made me look at my single life in a different way and instead of feeling down about it, I appreciate God for having me at a place to where I don’t have to deal with those type of things right now, and he’s letting me see that if I ever get married, it will never be perfect. There will be disagreements and arguments and there will be times when I would want my space. I live alone and i’m enjoying my own company, I don’t have to cook everyday if I don’t want to, my house is quiet, I can go and come as I please and don’t have to answer to anybody; I can talk to God out loud and spend quality time with him without any distraction so for those of you who are single and waiting for God to send you somebody then he wants you to be happy and content as you are while waiting on him because by waiting you have more time to spend with yourself and with him and less drama to deal with. Learn to be content in whatever situation he has you in whether you’re single, barren, widowed, divorced, or whatever the case may be because it’s for a reason, though you may never know what that reason may be.   

Vicky Pittard